Recipes for Living Sally Dulinsky

I am glad to be doing this life story because this year there is a program on IPTV (Iowa Public Television) about writing family histories and I intended to do that. This will be a start:

My twin, Sandy and I were born July 11, 1952, in Osceola, in Dr. Stroy’s hospital. I beat Sandy into the world by 10 minutes. We never thought to ask anyone if we were identical, which some people think we are. We were so large that the doctor thought at least on of us would be a boy. Mom and Dad were 36 at the time and had given up thinking they would have children, and after we were born they decided that when the babies started to come in two’s it was time to stop. They didn’t have anymore. They named me after one of the nurses and Sandy because Mom’s bachelor brother liked the name. He probably wouldn’t have children, so they named her in his honor.

We had a good childhood. We were very poor. Our house was not modern. Dad farmed and hauled rock in order to support us and to buy us some land to fulfill his dream of being a farmer. With the help of Joe Winters, who loaned him the money, he was able to buy 30 acres. While other people regarded Joe as cantankerous and uncooperative, Dad always found good things to say about him. His “fix-it” garage was on the corner of West McLane and Jackson streets, above where he lived with his wife, Persia. It was a stone structure such as is common in Arkansas and which Joe thought was indestructible, but when both he and Persia were deceased it was demolished and replaced by a car wash.

It was probably from Dad’s cattle-raising and farming that Sandy and I became interested in the out-of doors, ecology and conservation. Dad used no chemicals or pesticides. The acreage was wooded and in the spring of the year had all varieties of wild flowers. We loved to pick them and Mom knew all their names. She loved to read, which probably contributed to our academic ability because both Sandy and I did well in school. Although neither Mom nor Dad had a high school education, they expected us to do well in school and to finish all 12 grades, getting more education than they had the opportunity for.

Sandy and I were very close. There were normal sister fights but when or if there was no one else to play with, we always had each other. We depended on one another so much that we were quite upset when we were in kindergarten and they put us at different tables. It may have been a good thing, developmentally, but it was hard for us that in the upper grades we were always separated into different classrooms.

Our favorite play was the baby dolls and Barbie dolls. Marie Squier, who lived with us, worked at Snowdon’s and she and her mother, Arlye Thompson, sewed all kinds of doll clothes for us. We had relatives who lived in the area and we spent time with them. Dad’s sister, Wilma, married a Weaklend. We called her Aunt Toddie because there was another Wilma Weaklend. Gladys Alley was married to my mother’s brother. When he died, she married a Weaklend. They had two children. Doyce was our age, and Elbert, who is a published poet and well known as a city employed meter-reader, was like our big brother. Since we lived about a block apart and played so much with Elbert, we came to think of ourselves and to be known as “The Three Musketeers.”

Ralph and Marie Kimmel owned a whole city block right across the road from us. We lived on the corner of West Ayers and North Jackson. I am sure Ralph thought we were pests because he would be trying to build a fence and we would be in and out of the postholes. Ralph had Shetland ponies, and they are ornery; but we went over to see and ride the ponies as often as possible. He said that if anyone else gave them the chance, the ponies would bite their fingers off, but we spend hours patting their nice, soft muzzle and feeding them grass, one blade at a time. Ponies and horses became an important part of our lives.

In December 1959, Alaska and Hawaii became states. The following summer Susan Kimmel portrayed Uncle Sam in the July 4th parade, and Sandy and I dressed up as Miss Alaska and Miss Hawaii and rode the pony cart around the square. When Ralph passed away, Marie called to ask if I would like to have the sign from the pony cart, and I was glad to have it-and still do. In fact, both Jon and I save everything we've ever had. Sandy has said that when I'm gone, Jason, Sara, and she will have one big bonfire. I've told her she'd better not because this represents years of saving.

Mom and Dad liked to get together with all the relatives. The men played cards, the women sat and talked, and we children played. There was a time when we took a trip to Wisconsin with Uncle Clyde Bray. South Dakota and Wisconsin had been Mom's background; my dad's family grew up in Liberty and Indianola, Iowa, and had originally been from New York. His family liked music and there was always plenty of that at those family gatherings.

Mom had been sick with cancer since Sandy and I were about a year old. It was breast cancer that got progressively worse, although she was not one to talk about her pain or complain a lot. We were pretty naive so we didn't realize all that was happening but, when we were about 14, she went to what was then called Leisure Manor. From that time on she was heavily sedated and died in August after we turned 15 in July. Dad was not equipped to raise two teen-age daughters and in a while married Mom's sister, at which time our aunt became our step-mom.

Sandy and I graduated from high school and I went a little wild. We had been raised in the Christian tradition but I got away from the church. It was in the 60's and 70's when we teen agers were declaring our independence. We could take care of ourselves. Even society came to identify us as the "me" generation. We were going to do what we were going to do regardless of what it did to anyone else.

I went one year to SWCC (Southwestern Community College) with the thought of becoming an English teacher. I had Mrs. DeWebber as my high school English teacher and she became my role model. I was impressed that she was so very fair. It didn't matter to her if a student was smart or dumb, rich or poor-she treated everyone the same. All that was important to her was whether or not you did your work; if you didn't, she chewed you out. This became for me and still is what I want - that everyone have a chance to reach their full potential.

After one year at SWCC, I dropped out. I got a job and went back to work as a waitress, which job I had had while I was in high school. I was still so terribly shy that I was not a good waitress. Additionally, I was very immature and unworldly. I became pregnant and was married. In fact, Sandy, Dad and I were all married in the same year. I know that I wasn't ready for marriage and that is probably why it failed. I wasn't a good wife or mom. Jason's turning out well was in spite of all that. I just gave him over to God. There were many times when I said, "I just can't do this, God", and gave up. I give all the credit to God for the wonderful person Jason became. Maybe a reason God gave him to me was to teach me that the philosophy of the "me" generation is wrong. Being determined to do what I wanted to do, God put me in a situation when I had to confess I needed help.

This was about the time things began to turn around. What was happening in Sandy's life is pertinent. Sandy and Don Logeman were married in the United Methodist Church by Rev. Ivan Bys. He called on her one day and said, "Come to church." Of all the ministers Sandy and I have known, he is the only one who ever said that. She began going and accepted a job of teaching the pre-pre school children, three-and four-year-olds. She urged me to go to church, also, and help her teach the class. I did that and found the atmosphere to be so great! Pat Frahm and Julie Dougherty had been teaching them and they were both encouraging, as was Rev. Bys. When there was a change of ministers, Rev. Richard Eis came. He was more quiet and reserved, but he also made me feel welcome, as did Rev. Cliff Haider.

I know that Sandy prayed for me, my step-mom was praying for me; and, even though Dad wasn’t “religious” in any formal way, he had his own form of prayer. He was so kind, so good to anyone who was down, and I see that as his way of praying. I know that he wanted the best for me.

It was during the time I was teaching Sunday school that God spoke to me and said, “I love you and want you to shape up.” It was an experience I will never forget. Until then I remember dragging myself out of bed to go teach, but I did it because I had made the commitment. When God spoke to me, it put things into perspective. I began reading the Bible and really trying to better myself. I’d worked in lots of low paying jobs, in restaurants here and in Des Moines; I worked at Snowdon’s for awhile, but I wasn’t going anywhere. At that point I changed but as I look back on my life, I can see that all that went before was for a purpose.

While I was working at Snowdon’s I went to a birthday party for one of my co-workers and met Jon Dulinsky. He was working in construction and the fact that he traveled made his job seem exciting. I’d always been in Osceola and I thought traveling was neat. Of course, Jon was exciting, too. He’s been a wonderful husband, always encouraging me to do anything I’ve ever wanted to do. “Whatever makes you happy,” has been his attitude.

During the first years, I had several miscarriages and Jon and I began to think we wouldn’t have any more children. There came a time when I didn’t feel well. Because Mom and I had never talked about it, the slightest thing wrong with me made me think that I, also, had cancer. It was before the days when we had yearly check-ups but it was made known that there was particular danger for children who were offspring of cancer victims.

The big surprise was when the doctor announced that I was pregnant and Sarah was born in 1984. I wanted to stay home with her and Sandy told me that workers at Jimmy Dean Meat Company, which was going gung ho at that time, needed baby-sitters. I made it known that I was available and quickly filled all the slots that were allowed. I was on the child-care food program and was limited to five besides Sarah. I learned quickly that pre-schoolers were my favorites rather than infants. I’d had enough dirty diapers in that first year to last forever.

I really enjoyed the kids. We went to the library story hour, went for walks, saw the Homecoming Parade; we lived right by the train depot so we’d go over and watch the trains. The kids just loved that. I had a friend who raised sheep and we’d go pet the baby lambs in the spring. It was wonderful! I loved being home with Sarah and to be there for Jason, who was in junior high at the time.

Jason had a hip problem and had to be in Iowa City for surgery. It happens to one in every 10,000 so I blamed myself-what had I done wrong? At that time he was short and chubby. With his great sense of humor, he said that he was short because they nuked his body while he was in Iowa City. But now he has grown up tall and slender. I was baby-sitting for Sandy Eddy at the time and she took me to Iowa City and told me what to expect and calmed my fears. She prayed with me and was really kind to me. We are so fortunate to have her as our Public Health Nurse because her Christian faith as well as her professional skill helps many people throughout the area.

When Sarah was 1 ½ years old, my dad died of colon cancer. Our step-mother was so good to him during the illness and through all the attendant inconveniences. She didn’t like to drive in Des Moines but she did it when he needed to go.

That January I began taking night classes at SWCC again. This time they were at the high school and I could begin working on my elementary education degree. I think my choice was affected by my having baby-sat that age, discovering how much I enjoy younger children. I graduated in the summer of 1990 and had already applied at Graceland College to complete my four year degree. I loved Graceland and their instructors. I learned a lot. I did my student teaching under Lori Helgeson in the spring of 1992. The Clarke Community School district was using the Weldon facility and I taught there.

After I graduated I substitute taught for three years, my poor husband supporting me all this time. One day Joyce Turner called to ask if I would like to do some part time work at the Osceola Public Library. I worked there until one day she said there was an opening at the high school library so I applied and was hired. I worked there for three years. I loved it and I loved the kids but I still had this calling to teach elementary school. Cheryl Dowden-Parrott was the special ed. teacher at the high school and kept encouraging me to get my special education degree.

I began taking classes through Morningside College at the Area Education Agency (ABA) in Creston. It was what I'd been looking for-children in need-and I wanted to help as I'd been helped. In December of 1997, I saw an ad in the Des Moines Register for a temporary special education teacher at Clarke Elementary School in Osceola. I applied and Anne Lundquist called me personally to tell me that I had an interview. I was so excited! I agonized over taking a temporary instead of a permanent job, such as I had at the high school library. But that didn't completely fulfill what I was looking for and, with much praying and self-doubt, I took the risk I am now a fulltime special education teacher at Clarke Elementary. I just love it! The kids are great! The staff is great! The facility is great! Mr. Waterman and Mrs. Lundquist are both very caring, wanting what is best for children.

Sandy and I have always been really close. We haven't had the experiences that sometimes happen to twins-mental telepathy, etc.; but we like the same things-baseball, music, and we love to travel. We must have inherited some of that because we used to joke that our Grandmother Hall, Dad's mother, sat by the door with her purse so she'd always be ready to go. Dad liked to go, too. He'd get in the car and we'd go for a drive at night. Not anything that cost money but go to visit relatives, or to look at somebody's crops, something like that.

I think the main thing about being a twin is liking to be together. When I go somewhere without Sandy, I feel like I am not quite all there--something is missing. It took our husbands a long time to adjust to that. Jon occasionally says to Sandy, "Go home; don't you have a home?'' And she answers, "I am home." He is joking now but he used to be kind of serious about it.

Jason graduated from high school in 1992, the same year I graduated from Graceland. He went to SWCC for two years while at the same time worked at Furnas Electric. He was very close to my step-mom. She was the only grandma he ever knew, and she would have done anything for him. She was one of these grandparents who never sees the grandson doing anything wrong, no matter how much trouble he might get into. He was devastated when she passed away this past spring. He was taking a class at the time but he audited it from then on because he couldn't concentrate on his studies.

Jason went on to the University of Northern Iowa and majored in business and finance. He presently works in Wal-Mart offices in Iowa City. He is engaged to be married to a very sweet girl Staci Petersen. When she finishes school, they will be married and until then I have my grand-puppy to enjoy.

Sarah just finished her freshman year of high school. She plays flute in the Clarke High School band. Jon and I are very proud of her, and I am pleased because my dad was so musical. He could play anything by ear. She also plays volley-ball, is in 4-H, likes to babysit but recently started working at McDonald's so there will no longer be much time for anything other than that. She would like eventually to work outside in a position like a conservation officer or naturalist. We attended Outdoor Journey for Girls sponsored by the DNR (Department of Natural Resources) and other agencies. The purpose of the Journey is to encourage girls to have careers in natural resources. It is possible that will be her direction. Right now I've got to stop this and go pick her up from Drivers' Ed. Class.